Is India Calling ?

by Y. R. Dubey
(India)

Americans please do not feel offended, you are face to face with an Indian - Not the Red One, but the Real One ! Most of Marketing Strategies designed for promoting Power Bar Club (PBC) just do NOT touch our heads, for various reasons.

American Terminology
The ‘hole trable’ with we Indians is that we are ‘week in (amerikan) Inglish.’
When an American proclaims “PowerBar - It’s COOL !” Well, we know only one COOL - that we get when we take Ice-cream Bar in our mouth. But this is a PowerBar does’nt feel any cool and I have ‘trables’ from the day I installed it on my Computer glass. The Support team has miserabally failed to explain - why I am not able to log-in from the very first day?
I have great ‘Konfujan’ with ‘Hi’ and ‘Hay’ - when to use what? Someone told me to take the script to your Word Processor, use the facility ‘Find and Replace’ and replace all the ‘Hi’s with Dear Sir and all the ‘Hay’s with Respected Sir.
Believe me, I still hesitate to use these terms, because Hi exposes my dirty and absent teeths to the ‘Dear Sir’ and Hey may blow my bad breadth on the ‘Respected Sir’.
A child with uncombed head, and does not believe in respecting the Age, may call me ‘Hay Dubey what’s Up ! Certainly he is NOT asking me to look at the Roof, and certainly I can NOT apply the Common Indian Practice of slapping a child - it is Totally banned and Totally Illegal in US.
Just as it is Totally banned and Totally Illegal in our Great Indian Democracy, to Act or to Show KISSING in Public Areas (of course, after the Khujraho Times).
So best thing to do is just say ‘Hi’ to this Child, exposing your brushed teeth and move ahead, he will feel well answered.
Miss the Point and You Miss the Opportunity !
Before I joined PBC, a Search Engine promised me to search opportunities for me.
It threw a Search Criteria Form for “Work From Home Opportunities”. After filling the personal details, I had to answer two simple questions, which I completed easily.
1. Why you're interested in starting a home business?
Because I live in a Home ! And I am POOR !
2. What you're currently doing for a living?
Regularly BREATHING ! Now do me a favour and give the Opportunity !!
SEARCH RESULTS : Sorry, we do not have an opportunity available for You !
I was shocked! Have I NOT answered the quarry corretly? If not me, are the Opportunities only for Billgate?
Some body pointed out u will never be favoured because Americans have removed u from their FAVOR !
My mis-spelled words coming straight from the old Oxford Dictionary will immediately sort me out as Man from Asian origin. Most of the pages of British Oxford Dictionary, which is religiously placed in every Indian House, have gone out-dated. The English teaching classes of British times, in my town, do not teach slang words and we really do not know what they exactly mean to Americans.
I also feel that some of the Members of PIP Team are not quite happy with my Comments on the Zac’s Wall. I thought the comments are humourus, they think it is critisism & offensive. And there is no room to extend my friendship in such tight atmonphere.
Hoping against the hope, one day they will defenitely learn to understand my ‘week Inglish’ and be kind to friendship me.
Time Lag - The Real Barrier
Their expensive Webinars & Seminars are run around 2:00 AM in India and answered by Sound Snorings of a Billion people. We always miss the Live Show, next day they email the proceedings, but who likes rotten food?
Time lag of 11 to 17 hours almost made the two Great Democratic Worlds upside down.
US President and Indian Prime Minister take lot of time to come to terms on Common Issues. When one is delivering his Great Speech the other is hearing it in sleeping-state of mind and vice-versa.
The latest example is the issue of Cross-Border-Terrorism. For decades, the Prime Minister was crying hard for attention of the US President, but he kept teaching the Minister - Lessons of Human Rights - Not untill his WTC was hit on 9/11 right inside the New York city.
Perfect Home Work - A must !
Immediately after Registering with PBC, I realized that my sponsor has a big tomy and is an Indian. Why I was not born later to join under this latest Golden Beauty. My parents did not realize, I was to join PBC and should have given me a shorter and sweeter name.
Soon I want to chage everything, my sponsor, my first, last and nick names, postal and email addresses, and surely this weak Password.
Doing all this, now log-in is a problem of Himalayan height, I must immediately call Mr. Zac.
This situation can easily be avoided, if you do a perfect Home Work before filling up the blank form and take an Oath Not to Change anything, till the end of this Universe !
Don’t Flop
Every Indian feels that Mr. Zac is source of all his ‘trables’. Chat box and Comment box are full of “Mr. Zac r u there?”, “You ‘red’ my problem sent in ‘Private’ Zac“, “Call me Zac”, “I cancelled my old and joined You but big ‘trable’ in log-in, r u there, NO?”
Zac is already encircled with great crowd of excited people and has no time to attend ‘trables’ created by You for Yourself.
I always wish to punch your back, to make you turn around and see that there are many able Members in PIP with plenty of time to attend every point of your ‘trables’ at any level. To whom you have joined, hardly matters, main thing is how much and how best you promote your PowerBar.
Now PLEASE, this is NOT a critisism, this is a reality you can see every day in Chat Box and on the Comment Wall. I am great admirer of Mr. Zac and his Work. I know many Charities, Hospitals, Community Trusts, Non-profit Organizations and people in general are going to be benefited through Him.
Leave him alone with hands free so that he may help us better.
Moment I joined PIP, I accept all Members as my “Dear Friends”, sorry “Hi Friends” and ‘Invite Friends’ is just a GAME to be played between we friends. There should be nothing betwwen friends, so why not talk Straight, Healthy and Real - to succeed in this Real World.
Have a Bird’s Eye
Most people from Eastern countries look for their prospects in Western countries. The prospects there already have dollars in their accounts and do not care for your cents.
Stop this uni-directional approach and open your eyes wide - look at the Great Indian Ocean surrounding More than A BILLION STRONG PEOPLE - Harvest them! You can have Millions in your Downline, if not thousands.
We can have better understanding because we have common habits, common culture and we all understand ‘week Inglish’.
Hay ! Want to Meet Indian Beauty with Cash in Hand ?